A few recurring themes have popped up as I’ve poured over the reviews for Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen.  #1: it’s not as good as the first.  #2: it’s really loud and has a lot of explosions (no, really?).  And #3: it’s mind-blowingly racist and misogynistic.

I know, I know, we all want to have a good time here.  We just want to see a movie about killer robots!  Who cares what the stuffy critics in their stupid critic land of stupid critic opinions say!

I’d be all for that point of view…except, I’ve seen it, and they’re right.  It’s absurd.  Read any random review and you’ll find lines like these:

NYTimes:

…the introduction of two new Autobot characters, the illiterate, bickering twins Skids (Tom Kenny) and Mudflap (Reno Wilson), both of which take the shape of Chevrolet concept cars. The characters have been given conspicuously cartoonish, so-called black voices that indicate that minstrelsy remains as much in fashion in Hollywood as when, well, Jar Jar Binks was set loose by George Lucas. For what it’s worth, the script, by Ehren Kruger, Roberto Orci and Alex Kurtzman, also includes a crack about Simmons, who’s coded as Jewish, and his “pubic-fro head.”

Ebert:

There are many great-looking babes in the film, who are made up to a flawless perfection and look just like real women, if you are a junior fanboy whose experience of the gender is limited to lad magazines…

L.A. Times:

“Revenge” is strictly a man’s world…Although there are female Autobots and Decepticons in the Transformer universe, they are rare and none make it into the movie.

(That’s actually mistaken — there’s one female Autobot in the movie who has one line and is promptly killed.)

AICN:

…the frightening sidekicks of the film and the mistake this film will most likely be forever known for: Mudflap and Skids…Oh. My. God. They speak in clichéd urban slang, tossing around phrases like “I’m gonna pop a cap in your ass” while fist bumping and mumbling unintelligently in a voice that sounds like a bad Chappelle Show sketch. Then you get a close up. And they each have bug eyes and a gold tooth. Then there’s this jackass comment about them not being able to read. My jaw was on the floor.

Variety:

…a college whose students all look like twentysomething actors, and whose frat parties seem to take place at expensive strip clubs. In fact, on his first night out, Sam is treated to a sort of lap dance by a Decepticon posing as a nymphomaniacal freshman.

The Hollywood Reporter:

…Fox has little to do except look great in a tank top and tight jeans while running in slow motion…

The Associated Press:

The only robots with any discernible personality traits, aside from bravery or antagonism, are the Autobot twins, Mudflap and Skids. These are shockingly crass and unfortunate black stereotypes, jive-talking fools who can’t read and bumble their way from one mishap to the next. They are Jar Jar Binks in car form…

Those are the first seven media outlets I thought of, by the way.  There was no picking and choosing.  It was just a matter of skimming through the review and finding the token part about how offensive the movie is.

For my two cents, I was focused less on Mudflap and Skids (I guess I’ve become desensitized to alien racial stereotypes after the Star Wars prequels — not just because of Jar Jar but also because of the Neimoidians) than I was on some of the subtler offenses.

Example? Every woman in the movie is either presented as a complete imbecile (Sam’s mom — seriously, it’s painful) or a sex object.  There’s a scene near the beginning of the movie where Sam’s moving into college, and on the move-in day, students and parents and boxes everywhere, the only girls you see are ones walking in and out of the bathroom wearing nothing but towels.  That’s not hot; it’s pathetic.  There are also constant references to Megan Fox’s hotness (including a mini-Decepticon complaining “you’re hot, but you ain’t too bright”), so much so that it gets tiresome.

As for the racism, you can talk about Mudflap and Skids, but how about Tyrese Gibson’s character?  He gets fourth billing, which might make you think he’s got a decent part.  Sorry to disappoint.  He has about ten lines in the entire movie, all of them typical black sidekick comic relief stuff.  The good-looking white soldier (Josh Duhamel) is the one who actually gets to do everything.