Transformers‘ Shia LaBeouf did an interview with Playboy earlier this month that bloggers have been tripping over themselves in their race to extract quotes from it.  Why, you ask?  Because LaBeouf is apparently a guy with no filter.  Here’s how he described being on the set of Charlie’s Angels: Full Throttle when he was sixteen years old:

Holy f**king Christ! Really disgusting if I get into elaborate details. I remember my trailer was set up in such a way that Cameron Diaz’s and Lucy Liu’s trailers were visible through my window, through this little shade I had. I’d put down the blackout shade just enough to have my eye peeping through and get them in my crosses. I’d be inside totally going at it. Just the thought of them changing in their trailers was enough to get me off.

Then he went on to describe losing his virginity at eighteen:

For some reason, I was trying to portray myself as a man who had done it (had sex) many times in the past. I didn’t tell the girl I was a virgin.  I was all, ‘Don’t worry, babe. I’m gonna handle it tonight.’ And meanwhile I was shaking in my boots…Getting naked was very strange. It was the first time I’d been naked in the light, in front of a girl, with no hiding place.  It became apparent pretty quickly that I didn’t know what the f**k I was doing. Somewhere in her mind she had to know.  I remember laying her on the bed and putting a pillow underneath her because I had seen that in a porn movie… (It) put her at a weird angle, where I couldn’t get in correctly. I’m not extremely well-endowed… and clearly this wasn’t the move to do.  [But] we had time to work it out. We had a lot of sex and would read the Kama Sutra together and do the wildest s**t.

Then he talked about how he’s too much of a professional to date his co-star Megan Fox while the Transformers movies were filming, even though at the time she was engaged to a guy thirteen years LaBeouf’s senior:

It hasn’t been a romantic thing because you’re trying to respect the work environment. You don’t push anything. And, with sex and romance, things become convoluted so fast… You’re playing with the devil.  We could be shooting, and the relationship is suddenly on the rocks and then what? So we just never did anything about it. We were very smart. We’re attracted to each other, and I think you can see that in our scenes together. It’s very real and tangible, and you can tell something exists.  I’m going to know the girl forever. She’s a beautiful, intelligent girl, and when you make a movie with someone like that… you feel things. I know a relationship between us isn’t an option for us right now for a variety of reasons… [but] I get to kiss her in the fantasy world.”

And finally, he professes his love for his mother.  Yes, it’s very sweet, but there’s talking about how cool your mother is, and then there’s definitely crossing the Oedipus line:

Probably the sexiest woman I know is my mother. She’s an ethereal angel. Nobody looks like that woman. If I could meet my mother and marry her, I would. I would be with my mother now, if she weren’t my mother, as sick as that sounds.

Kid is insane.